I just read that statistically speaking one is more likely to be struck by a meteor than win the Euromillions lottery. Click here for the link. Furthermore, a past winner now lives with hundreds of begging letters per week, kidnap plots and death threats. So, am I going to try to beat odds of 80 million to one and spend the rest of my days stuck in my mansion and living in fear? Is a £75million windfall really worth that?

Erm… Yes!

(I think £75million can comfortably afford a name change by deed poll and a full-time security squad, and I could light fat cigars with the begging letters.)

Now, on a totally unrelated tangent… what the hell?