The French have it so right…
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Category Archives: technology
Using my masculine ways to get what I want
Louise’s girly (read: “lilac”) phone decided to pack in last night, thanks to a gimpy software bug that turns off the phone as soon as you try to get into your inbox. Helpful.
Today, I marched angrily to Vodafone on Oxford St seeking a repair or replacement, making sure to mention – loudly – that the phone was my fiancée’s. The guy in the first shop I went to knew the fault before I even mentioned it, just by seeing the phone. He told me that hundreds of people have returned phones with the same software bug. Unfortunately, they were a “sales” not “sales and repair” store, so I was directed to their Bond Street store.
And what a waste of time that was. Their customer service people fobbed me off with the “your phone isn’t in warranty” line. Admittedly, the phone is out of warranty, however the fault in question is due to a software fault rather than wear and tear. And, importantly, it’s a major fault that they’ve known about for months but with no product recall. I made this point to their manager. I might as well have been talking to a stack of crap. He looked at me blankly and reiterated “it’s out of warranty, repair will cost you £40″.
It was time for a change of tact. I got the tube to Charing Cross and went to the Vodafone shop, found the first female member of staff, and told her the phone fault (but held on to the receipt for the time being). All the while making flirty bullshit smalltalk and generally feeling like the Missus wouldn’t approve of my conduct. Eventually she asked to see the receipt and noticed it was out of warranty. But then I sweet-talked her into getting it repaired for free anyway.
I trotted off feeling like an absolute smug bastard.
Mid-morning tubes are almost empty, so I took the time to scour the Metro newspapers scattered everywhere for the 2-for-1 Subway vouchers on page 20. I found 4, much to the dismay of my fellow passenger, who was visibly disapproving of my voucher-scavenging ways. But fuck him. Minutes later, I was tucking into a fucking enormous sandwich at half the price.
For the second time this morning, I trotted off feeling like an absolute smug bastard.
If you’ve seen Google Earth, you might find this news story rather interesting.
This guy did his homework
File sharing: not worth the risk
I had a discussion with Liam (a friend of mine who is doing a PhD in peer-to-peer networks – yes, really) about the legality of file sharing yesterday. We both concluded that it’s becoming an increasingly risky gamble for users, especially the less technically minded. Though the chances of getting caught seem slim, the repurcussions if you are caught are enormous. Did you know that you could be sued for $150,000 for each film you are caught downloading? Scary, isn’t it? It is easy to dismiss such huge figures as propaganda peddled by the film studios and record companies to scare people away from file sharing, but we are talking about people who have sued children and settled out of court for thousands of dollars. There is one woman in America currently facing bankruptcy over a $620,000 suit. It’s just not worth doing it anymore. The system is flawed, but not all of it is against the downloaders…
When using Bit Torrent, you download files bit by bit. However, while downloading you also upload the bits you have to other users. Hence the term file sharing.
Let’s say the MPAA manage to get hold of the logs for a Bit Torrent tracker, and in these logs they find that somebody at your IP address downloaded a film. (For arguments sake, let’s say it was Ocean’s Eleven.) A few days or weeks later, you get a letter from their lawyers saying they’re suing you for several thousand dollars because you downloaded – and by using Bit Torrent also helped distribute – Ocean’s Eleven, which is their coyrighted material.
How do they prove you downloaded their copyrighted material? All they can prove is that you downloaded a file called Ocean’s Eleven. They can only know it was copyrighted material if you had uploaded some of the film to them. As they hold the copyright for the film, they aren’t guilty of copyright infringement. Herein lies the chance to fuck with them.
What somebody needs to do is modify Bit Torrent such that each user generates some random material that is unique to them, but not identifiable. (For example, a few frames of random static would be suitable. A few frames of someone’s actual, personal home video footage would be very, very stupid.) Then, this material is sent as a header to all outgoing connections. Therefore, if the MPAA wants to prove you have Ocean’s Eleven, they first have to download your random static video. And as this video is your copyrighted material, that makes them guilty of copyright infringement.
So if they did this, and resultantly you get sued for thousands of dollars for copyright infringement, in theory you could countersue for infringing your copyright. Of course, your copyrighted material is worthless, unlike theirs, so this would never work in practice. However, in pursuit of a lawsuit against you, they would be forced to acknowledge that they have committed a criminal offence as well.
A question to ask oneself is: “If I’m volunteering this video to them by sharing it online, then are they guilty of infringing my copyright?” Well, if you give someone a knife and tell them to kill you, are they a murderer if they actually do it? Of course they are. More to the point, rumours are rife that a major Hollywood film studio is using this very technique to catch people out. Of course, it could be propaganda to scare people away, but they’re sufficiently mercenary (what with suing kids and all) that it could well be true – allegedly they are seeding Bit Torrent files of their own copyrighted material (*cough* popular TV shows that have recently been released on DVD *cough*) with the goal of acquiring thousands of IP addresses, and the aim of filing a massive lawsuit sometime in the near future. (So, avoid downloading a California-based popular TV series with a two-letter acronym, if you catch my drift) Furthermore, the files are only 98% complete; there are gaps at strategically placed points to make following the stories – and burning to DVD, at least to the Average Joe – impossible.
If only they stopped lining their lawyers pockets and put the money towards a system that works, then everyone would be happy. Of course, if that ever happens it is years away. Today they’re too busy suing people.
Back online, but how long for?
My stupid laptop decided to go into an infinite loop of rebooting at the Windows screen yesterday. Six hours, 10 frantic phone calls to Liam and the technical support people, and four additional Windows installations later, I managed to get into safe mode to back up all my work. And what happens when I turn the laptop off and reboot again? Fucking works perfectly doesn’t it. Quite what the sodding problem was in the first place, I don’t know.
I spent the rest of the day preparing a 25-page defence to my ex-landlord’s counterclaim. (Granted, 15 of those pages are merely documents I’m including, but still) I have written confirmation from the letting agent that I never signed either inventory, and they also sent me copies of visual inspections done during the tenancy which basically say that everything was in good condition. They’re also working on providing me a reference of good tenancy, which should surely work in my favour. Feeling a lot better about the case now, but not resting on my laurels that it will go my way.
The missus is shelling out £8 a day to get a peak hour zones 1-3 travel card, seeing as the goons at TFL (that’s Transport For London for all you provincial types) have failed to deliver her student card. How nice of them.
This is now officially the longest I’ve ever been away from Wales. Over six months and counting. In my late teenage years I grew to hate living there, but going back to visit is nice. Plus, there’s the obvious benefit of Mum’s cooking. Mmm.
My Mum always cooks far too much on the off chance you’ll be hungrier than usual, and takes it personally if you don’t try to eat yourself to sumo proportions at the table. Kinda like Mrs. Doyle from Father Ted. She once cooked 20 chicken drumsticks for 4 people, along with a huge amount of vegetables and about two pints of gravy. It was lovely though. I’ve made myself hungry now, and it’s only just gone 9 in the morning.
Karma is a bitch
Read the previous message.
Now Louise’s laptop refuses to come out of sleep mode. Karma, no?
And then I stepped on a staple. That wasn’t much fun, let me tell you. surprisingly little blood though, despite the depth of the wound.
Fit teachers and computer virii
I was up at 6am yesterday. Not a happy bunny. The trip to the school went well, though. Generally, the kids seemed to be positive about the teaching material we came up with. Of course, they may just have been polite because we were still there… I’ll presume they were honest comments for the sake of my fragile ego.
I had the dubious honour of being the worst dressed guy in the building. It was a boys school where the Sixth form uniform was “office wear”, it would seem. The rest of the boys had blazers, and each looked like the long lost member of McFly. Or Busted. Whatever. Considering it was an all boys school, I question the decision to hire so many fit young female teachers. Surely that must prove a huge distraction.
My boss actually said yesterday, and I’m quoting, that a million pounds “isn’t a lot of money”. I hate not being rich. I don’t hate him though. Must buy a lottery ticket later…
In the evening I got a call from a friend saying she’s acquired some virus on her Dad’s PC, and (in an effort to relieve the fury apparently being directed at her) asked me what to do to remove it. By the sound of it, it’s one of those fuckers that changes your locally stored default 404 html file and forwards the user to some bollocks spam page, no doubt promoting some internet dating site or selling penis enlargement pills. Maybe both. Unfortunately, this particular virus has also sodded up the CD drive, apparently. People seem to think that, because I did a degree in Computer Science, I have some magic solution to problems like these. Granted, I hopefully have a headstart over your Average Joe, but ultimately when I get a problem on my PC, I’m usually stumped like other mere mortals. In my entirely-finite wisdom, I advised she does a System Restore and see if the problem has gone. She never called back to tell me how it went. I fear it did fuck all.
EDIT (23-Sep-05): I got a call later this evening confirming that, as I correctly predicted, my “advice” achieved nothing. Oh well. I tried.