Mathew Browne

What with work-work and freelance-work book-ending my waking hours for the past few weeks it’s only as it winds down I’m finding myself with some free time to post here. I’ve made myself a tidy little sum, however I have no tangible evidence of that, thanks to a hefty council tax bill, renewing my travel card, and an impulse purchase.

I got a new Pentax ist DL2 digital SLR camera the other day. It is the proverbial dogs bollocks. Brand new art-wank photo galleries coming soon…

My effort to shift some of my paunch has withered into nothing, again. It’s just too hot lately to exercise! Comfortable and bellied beats knackered and toned.

I had a work experience kid start this week. Less said the better. On his second day he got me into trouble by arriving early, then going to find my boss (interrupting a big meeting) and asking if he’d log him in. Which made me look like a total schmuck.

I am going home to Wales for all of 30 hours this weekend. The Joe Calzaghe fight I’d booked to see was put off (but the rest of the card wasn’t). I managed to cancel the tickets but my seats on the coach there and back were non-refundable. So I figured I’d go home anyway, seeing as I’d paid for them…

I was in Tesco this lunchtime and observed the 2 minute silence there. Not the most tasteful location but there you go. I could have gone to Russell Square or Tavistock Square (as both are about 5 minutes from my office) but I’m knackered and look a right state, so didn’t want to be an unwitting extra for a live Sky News/BBC/ITN/CNN broadcast…

Actual quote overheard:

Person A: Why kill innocent people? They should bring back the death penalty.
Person B: For who?
Person A: The bombers
Person B: The bombers died
Person A: How?
Person B: They were suicide bombers [long pause] that means they blew themselves up too…
Person A: Ohhhhhh riiiiiight.

For those of you who watch Big Brother, there is an unintentionally hilarious photo of Nikki (a few moments prior to entering the house) doing the rounds at the moment.

As usual, I am watching Big Brother this summer. So far it has been a hideous display of bullying by some members of the show toward Shabaz, so much so that he left within 5 days. Granted, he was a cock. However, that doesn’t justify a 13-on-1 verbal assault. Grotesque people, all of them. I hope I win the Kit Kat golden ticket so I can go in, stab them all and win by default.

Today’s random link is this

Having read all about Jodie Marsh’s “dead cert” status in tonight’s Celebrity Big Brother eviction, I was somewhat surprised to find a site still offering reasonable (though still low) odds. I am now £22 richer, though I had to slap down a lot more to win that.

The moral of this story, however, is that gambling is for mugs.

Here on this front cover you have nearly all the classic tabloid scandal staples: drugs, death, fire/explosion/terrorist attack, sex, murder, prostitutes, tragedy, and a star from a reality TV show. The only things missing are football, politicians, paedophiles and asylum seekers.

The only way you could top that is if Jade Goody sexed David Beckham to death during a three-way orgy with an asylum seeking terrorist, having just snorted a fat line of coke off the chest of Gary Glitter. Which was supplied by Peter Mandelson. In the Big Brother house.

Then told all in a 4-page spread at a poolside in the Bahamas as Max Clifford rubs his hands together in glee.