Mathew Browne

Foreign bloggers: more, please. You know who you are. That is all.

I got a number 2 clipped haircut the other day, albeit accidentally - the guy mistook “four” for “two”. As you do. By the time I noticed he was using the wrong clipguard the damage was done. Not sure whether it suits me or not, probably because I haven’t really deviated from my usual haircut for about 15 years. (Not counting my ill-advised blond curtains I proudly sported upon starting university) That was 6 days ago and already my hair’s grown back sufficiently that my head doesn’t feel cold. Which is nice.

Had a weekend at the in-laws, which was a stress sandwich. The highlight was leaving the house to visit the local shopping centre - I had the dubious honour of returning to the car with 4 bags, all containing nothing but confectionary of some sort. They had a Thorntons and a Cadbury outlet shop… hence I snapped up broken Crunchies and abnormally-shaped truffles at bargain prices. They’ll last me about a week. Expect a less-streamlined Math when you next see him. Type 2 diabetes beckons.

At least when I was at their house I got to relegate myself to their spare room and get some work done. I have recently finished a site for a cleaning firm and a new site for my boss’s company, but I still have a bunch of sites to work on / begin, for the following people/organisations:
- botox clinic
- 2x sites for a dating agency
- greeting card manufacturer
- 2x sites for personal trainers
- and finally, a Flash photo gallery for a guy wanting to distribute his wedding photos online. novel idea

That’ll keep me busy for a while!

I was asked to produce a website for someone claiming to own “London’s biggest escort agency”. Two thumbs up! Except they wanted to pay me with “store credit”, so I passed up the opportunity, much to the chagrin of some (single) web dev friends of mine. One in particular was furious that I hadn’t thought of negotiating a good deal and referring the job to him.

Looking forward to seeing Tim Vine on Friday night. Also, I may be seeing the Wales vs New Zealand match at the Millennium Stadium on November 25. I’ll gloss over the fact that we don’t stand a chance.

Halloween and Bonfire night fast approaching… I really miss being a kid, then these nights were a big deal. This applies even more to Christmas, which the shops would have you believe is next week.

$ky Television have acquired the rights to Lost, right from under Channel 4’s nose. Either Sky have been unscrupulous shits, C4 have been poor negotiators, or both, but either way all parties are bastards for denying me some great TV for free. Some people would resort to downloading the episodes off Bittorrent, but everyone knows I’m not such a person.

I know I sound like a stuck record, but I really am looking forward to leaving London. 5 years ago, I was stuck record preaching the benefits of going to London. Now, older and wiser, the honeymoon is over. Unless you are earning a lot more than I am, or unless you have rich parents to leech off, London simply isn’t viable. It’s a shame.

I shall leave you with
something you don’t already know

Saw Mitchell and Webb at the Pleasance Theatre last Friday, and they were so funny it hurt.

Went to a signing of the Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace DVD. Garth, Todd Rivers and Dean Learner were all there in character. I ended up having a discussion with Garth about the benefits of equipping all NHS staff with firearms. Surreal.

Saw some weirdo masturbating on a platform at Canning Town station. As you do.

Got absolutely bladdered on Sunday afternoon and spent that evening heartily chundering and vowing never to drink again. I’m still hungover.

The BBC and Great Ormond Street Hospital are now involved in this medical physics video we’re making at work. Our producer, of all goes to plan, was one of the producers for Tomorrow’s World [/geek fanboy mode]

A morose Welshman who now lives in London, telling anecdotes about how behind-the-times things are West of the Severn Bridge.

No, it isn’t me down the pub, it’s Rhod Gilbert and his excellent show Knocking on Heavens Door. If stand-up comedy is your thing, I highly recommend you go see him at Soho theatre in a few weeks.

Being the only Welshman in the audience this evening I did make myself a target for each of his Welsh anecdotes but it was all good fun. We’ll be returning to the Pleasance theatre next week to see Mitchell and Webb (the guys off Peep Show), which I’m sure will be hilarious. I can’t wait.

The Missus bought a car this evening, so if you hear of a hit and run in East London involving a silver Ford Fiesta, it wasn’t us…

Work is getting steadily busier, those of you who think I’m a slacking bastard will be overjoyed to hear.

“You watch WWF wrestling? You do realise it’s fake, right?”

Oh no, my world is crumbling around me. All that I held true and dear is a fraud!

But seriously…

I really can’t stand the condescending stock response that certain people have when they discover that I enjoy watching wrestling on TV. Do they actually think I believe it’s real? If someone tells you they watch Coronation Street, you wouldn’t say to them “You do realise that it’s fake, right? Yeah, filmed in Manchester. Just a TV show.” So, why is it acceptable to be such a prick about pro wrestling?

At this point someone launches the second stock response, which is “It’s just a load of greased-up men in their underwear. Are you gay?” or words to that effect. Yeah, I’m a raving homo. Just ask my fiancee.

Gah! I’ll stop ranting now as this really makes my blood boil. Makes me want to grab a steel chair and hit them over the head, such that they bleed everywhere. (Because, you know, all the blood in wrestling is fake. Blood capsules, yeah. And the chairs are made of rubber.)