Mathew Browne

I had been very much looking forward to Sunday evening, where I was supposed to watching Wrestlemania at Belushi’s in Camden. Unfortunately, Sky are being rubbish and not letting pubs show it. Very embarrassing, having only just managed to convince some of my friends to tag along.

My missus is getting very smug that recently she has been able to predict the outcomes of all the matches and storylines better than me - a lifelong wrestling fan. (Yes, we know it’s scripted, but we don’t script it.)

Therefore, there are a wealth of domestic bragging rights riding on our respective predictions for Wrestlemania. She is going with: HHH, Rey Mysterio, Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, Ric Flair, Trish Stratus, Torrie Wilson, Mick Foley, Chris Benoit, Kane & Big Show, Boogeyman. I must concede that she has made some wise choices. However, I go with: HHH, Rey Mysterio, Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, Ric Flair, Mickie James, Candice, Edge, Chris Benoit, Chris Masters & Carlito, Boogeyman. And I will be right.

Monday is going to be a 9am - 8pm extravaganza at work schmoozing with various important persons at the official opening of the Centre for Medical Image Computing. I have to dress nice and show people around. At least now I won’t be doing it having only had about an hours sleep. And have (comparatively) ample time to shoehorn myself into my ill-fitting smart clothes, now I’ve become a fat bastard.

So, I’ve been telling anyone who’ll listen about the marvels of Filmnight’s Easter sale. They’ve been selling single DVDs at £2.95 and box sets for £9.95. Nothing to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ than a DVD sale. I ordered a few DVDs. Which explains why my postman delivered 29 parcels today. And likely another 29 tomorrow. And the day after that.

Oh, and my golf clubs arrived yesterday. Yeah.

I believe it was Marek who once ranted how he despises sites / sales pages which have those shitty gold “100% satisfaction guaranteed” icons. I thought I’d share one with you here (above…) God knows I saw enough of them over the weekend… I was working for a client who insisted on having one of those awful single sales pages cuttered with too many H1 tags and prices ending in 7. Didn’t listen to a single word of design advice I had to offer, but at least he paid.

This is so unbelievably stupid it makes me nearly weep.

The Pirate Bay’s response to legal threats are incredibly amusing.

Thanks to CD And DVD Bargains I got an email last week alerting me to the fact that Amazon had listed the 7-disc Nightmare on Elm St DVD set for just £6.97. Shortly after snapping up said title they changed their misprinted price to £16.97, but they’re honouring the orders anyway. Lovely!

In unrelated news, an old friend from my schooldays is visiting London in October to perform at the Royal Albert Hall as part of a championship brass band ensemble. How posh! We then remarked how Carmarthen (one of our local towns) seems stuck in a time warp, as those who didn’t move away haven’t moved on. So true.

Yesterday I met a friend from my first year of halls at lunch. She divulged in some quite explicit detail her recent bout of food poisoning, and the drunken toilet habits of her former flatmate. I was glad I wasn’t eating at the time; my lunch - much like the most shocking part of the anecdote - was liquid.

Today I met Henry briefly to shock him with my £3k win and to ask how St. Paddy’s day went. I had bailed on going out with him and some old friends that evening thanks to my tardiness in leaving the event at King’s College.

Said event (a National Science Week event to promote medical physics at university level) was so-so. It was a bit mismanaged and my ineptitude at public speaking was apparent. But I did meet a Nobel prize winner and in terms of making me look good it did the trick.

My Missus (who is a King’s student) was hanging around all day to score brownie points from her tutor for looking like an enthusiastic student, along with poaching the free food on offer and swooning over me in my suit like a ravenous schoolgirl.

Yeah, it was terrible.

check out photo 6 in particular. Ouch.

Click here

What’s the first thing you notice about this photo? The enormous plane just a few feet above the beach?

Me? I spotted the topless bird to the right.

I just got a call from a lovely Irish lady working for a magazine saying I’d won £3000-worth of stuff. Here’s the blurb from the magazine…

Wilkinson Sword are giving one lucky person prizes totalling nearly £3000. They include a lightspeed Titanium Teramo road bike, a Ben Sayers MX7 titanium golf set, a Boccia titanium gent’s watch and of course a Quattro titanium razor.

I don’t exactly know what I’ll do with a bike or a golf set, but fuck it, it’s free!

Scroll back a few posts and you’ll see somewhere I said “if good luck comes in threes, then I’m due a third”. How right I was.

lastMinute.com put out the best, most offensive advert ever. Brilliant.

In other news, while my parents were away somebody saw fit to break into Dad’s shed, the lousy bastards. Thankfully there wasn’t a hell of lot (financially speaking) for them to take, though they had helpfully stacked up our patio chairs outside our garage ready to pinch at a later date. (Presumably later that day.)

Now, some stories from The Sun:

Parasitic Britain.

This is so typical of Royal Mail. Next they’ll be hiring blind people as drivers.

The curse of Uri Geller (check out the hilarious photo)

Racial discrimination works both ways

The phrase of the day is: plodding along.

Links.

Chef, you fucking hypocrite.

Why can’t this sort of thing happen to me?

Nine Inch Nails fucking with Guns N’ Roses, part 1: a photoshopped Axl Rose taking the photo

Nine Inch Nails fucking with Guns N’ Roses, part 2: note the sign above the door

Getting a UFO to work: proof that British Rail lost it’s marbles decades ago

Bet she still loses her keys

Dumped.

Not because she’s landed a ridiculously good looking gentleman such as myself, but because she’s passed her latest two exams - one of which was 100% correct. And I’m one step closer to being a kept man.