Mathew Browne

Louise’s girly (read: “lilac”) phone decided to pack in last night, thanks to a gimpy software bug that turns off the phone as soon as you try to get into your inbox. Helpful.

Today, I marched angrily to Vodafone on Oxford St seeking a repair or replacement, making sure to mention - loudly - that the phone was my fiancée’s. The guy in the first shop I went to knew the fault before I even mentioned it, just by seeing the phone. He told me that hundreds of people have returned phones with the same software bug. Unfortunately, they were a “sales” not “sales and repair” store, so I was directed to their Bond Street store.

And what a waste of time that was. Their customer service people fobbed me off with the “your phone isn’t in warranty” line. Admittedly, the phone is out of warranty, however the fault in question is due to a software fault rather than wear and tear. And, importantly, it’s a major fault that they’ve known about for months but with no product recall. I made this point to their manager. I might as well have been talking to a stack of crap. He looked at me blankly and reiterated “it’s out of warranty, repair will cost you £40″.

It was time for a change of tact. I got the tube to Charing Cross and went to the Vodafone shop, found the first female member of staff, and told her the phone fault (but held on to the receipt for the time being). All the while making flirty bullshit smalltalk and generally feeling like the Missus wouldn’t approve of my conduct. Eventually she asked to see the receipt and noticed it was out of warranty. But then I sweet-talked her into getting it repaired for free anyway.

I trotted off feeling like an absolute smug bastard.

Mid-morning tubes are almost empty, so I took the time to scour the Metro newspapers scattered everywhere for the 2-for-1 Subway vouchers on page 20. I found 4, much to the dismay of my fellow passenger, who was visibly disapproving of my voucher-scavenging ways. But fuck him. Minutes later, I was tucking into a fucking enormous sandwich at half the price.

For the second time this morning, I trotted off feeling like an absolute smug bastard.

If you’ve seen Google Earth, you might find this news story rather interesting.