Mathew Browne

I didn’t post yesterday so today is a double-post extravaganza!

I was up at 6am yesterday. Not a happy bunny. The trip to the school went well, though. Generally, the kids seemed to be positive about the teaching material we came up with. Of course, they may just have been polite because we were still there… I’ll presume they were honest comments for the sake of my fragile ego.

I had the dubious honour of being the worst dressed guy in the building. It was a boys school where the Sixth form uniform was “office wear”, it would seem. The rest of the boys had blazers, and each looked like the long lost member of McFly. Or Busted. Whatever. Considering it was an all boys school, I question the decision to hire so many fit young female teachers. Surely that must prove a huge distraction.

My boss actually said yesterday, and I’m quoting, that a million pounds “isn’t a lot of money”. I hate not being rich. Must buy a lottery ticket later…

In the evening I got a call from Pippa saying she’s acquired some virus on her Dad’s PC, and (in an effort to relieve the fury apparently being directed at her) asked me what to do to remove it. By the sound of it, it’s one of those virii (that word doesn’t look right) that changes your locally stored ‘page not found’ html file and forwards the user to some bollocks spam page, no doubt promoting some internet dating site or selling penis enlargement pills. Maybe both. Unfortunately, this particular virus has also sodded up the CD drive, apparently. People seem to think that, because I did a degree in Computer Science, I have some magic solution to problems like these. Granted, I hopefully have a headstart over your Average Joe, but ultimately when I get a problem on my PC, I’m usually stumped like other mere mortals. In my entirely-finite wisdom, I advised she does a System Restore and see if the problem has gone. She never called back to tell me how it went. I fear it did fuck all.

EDIT (23-Sep-05): I got a call later this evening confirming that, as I correctly predicted, my “advice” achieved nothing. Oh well. I tried.

if(wakeUpTired())
{hoursOfSleepNeeded++;}
else
{//this never seems to happen}

I became somewhat notorious in halls for the amount of time I spent in bed. (Alone, sadly.) I worked out that in a typical week in my first year of university, I slept 11 hours a day. In my time at halls I made it to breakfast on only a handful of occasions, and of those only three weren’t due to my staying up through the night. Henry, I believe, began addressing me as Lord Snooze. Others, however, made a “hilarious” link between my being half-Welsh and an excellence at counting sheep.

Arguably my greatest accomplishment, however, was managing to sleep for 27 hours. Not because I’d been out partying or anything, just because I could. Admittedly, I did need to wake up at the 13-hour mark to pee, but I did head straight back to the sack and comfortably slept - uninterrupted - for another 14 hours. I’m reliably informed this isn’t normal.

I’ve cut down on sleepy-time in recent years, but suffice to say I’m not enjoying waking up early every morning to go to work. I’m knackered today, despite clocking up a chunky 10 hours sleep last night. Pro-Plus doesn’t work anymore, neither does Red Bull (or any of the supermarket own-brand rip-offs). I guess I’m destined to spend the rest of my working life yawning…